THE OPTION METHOD

January 11, 2006
By Lionel Ketchian

Among the best books on happiness is The Option Method by Bruce M. Di Marsico. I have it listed on my web site on the twenty best books on happiness ever written.

It is a very short book, but contains the wisdom to help you understand your unhappiness. Bruce has said that his method is the second best method to become a happy person. He said the best method is to just understand that happiness is very important and to become a happy person.

Bruce originally studied to become a Catholic priest. Then he studied psychology and philosophy in the 1960's at Seton Hall University in New Jersey. Bruce passed away in 1995. His work has been taught to teachers, psychologist, therapists, social workers, clergy and other practitioners to enhance the tools of their professions.

Bruce knew that happiness could only be experienced right now, in this very moment.

One of the two basic questions Bruce might ask you is: "If you believed now that at this time tomorrow you were going to be unhappy, what would you feel now?" Think about it and see how you feel right about the fact that you will be unhappy this time tomorrow. You feel unhappy right now, don't you? You see as soon as you entertain the thought of being unhappy, you become unhappy.

Now Bruce's next question would be: ": "If you believed now that at this time tomorrow you were going to be very happy, what would you feel now?" The same situation applies with this question as well. If you believe you will be happy this time tomorrow than you will feel happy right now. The actual mechanism at work is your beliefs.

Bruce M. Di Marsico said: "Merely believing that something can cause unhappiness makes you feel it can and will cause unhappiness. Merely believing something is making you unhappy makes you feel as if something has made you unhappy. The feeling that something makes you unhappy doesn't mean that it actually does make you unhappy. You believe it can, so it does. In fact, you don't ever actually need to be made unhappy to feel that you are. You only need to believe you are being made to be unhappy."

If you come to our next meeting you will hear more about Bruce's Option Method and how to understand more about your unhappiness. Being happy will be up to you. At least you will better understand your unhappiness.

One of the thoughts expressed by Bruce was: "All unhappy people believe it is necessary to be unhappy."

Bruce further states: "When we are unhappy we are, in effect, making the claim that bad feelings happen to us. We believe that we would not choose to feel this way, but are instead forced to feel this way by an event rather than the result of our own choice. This is feeling like a victim; and we are deceiving ourselves."
Bruce Di Marsico really knew what he was talking about and he was most unquestionably a happy person. Bruce's words and insights prove his depth of understanding in the matter of happiness. Bruce said: "Happiness is not the result of having good things in themselves. What we have always meant by good merely granted us the right to be happy. Happiness is the right to be happy and is the result of not doubting that you have this right -- no matter what. All people want to be happy. Happiness is the ultimate desire. Happiness is the prime mover. Happiness is the goal of all desires. The desire for happiness is the sole motivation of all people."

To help you understand the basis for the Option Method let me explain it this way. When an event occurs, your emotional response is affected entirely by your beliefs about the event and not by the event itself. This is true and has been expressed by all great teachers. For example, Epictetus said: "What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are." What you think about the event that has occurred, and not the event itself, is what constitutes your emotional response. Your beliefs, in effect, choose your emotional state.

As Bruce said, "All fear is the fear of unhappiness." I want to ask you this question: is it worth living your life in fear or unhappiness, or both? With all that we think we have, we really have nothing if we do not have the experience of freedom that happiness brings. To be happy is more than a declaration of our emotions. It is a testament to our liberation from the suffering we have known and become accustom to as human beings.

True happiness is not concerned with circumstances. For example, I have acquired a cold as I write this article. It has absolutely nothing to do with my happiness. Things that happen can never be confused with my being happy. My happiness is steadfast and consistent. I can depend on it now and continually. If I had a cold and I was unhappy, that would be an added affliction. Then, I would be suffering from a double disease, and one that would not only add to the unpleasantness, but would obstruct the healing process, while making me feel worse. Happy people do not have fewer problems; they just don't use unhappiness to deal with it.

You may call happiness an attitude or a decision. Whatever the name, it is truly here for me every moment. The only way to lose happiness is not by having something happen, but by forgetting that it is the most important thing in life. Only a conscious person can be happy and I will not become unconscious, because I would not want to slide into unhappiness.

Our next Happiness Club meeting will be a presentation for Happiness called:
"The Option Method" by Lionel Ketchian. Don't miss this chance of a lifetime to find happiness through the work of Bruce Di Marsico's Option Method. You will learn why you are unhappy and how to handle yourself. The meeting will be held on Thursday, January 19, from 7:00-9:00 p.m. at the Fairfield Public Library, in the Rotary Room at 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield. Meet some wonderful people using happiness in their lives. Admission is free; everyone is welcome.

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.happinessclub.com.