Gateway to Happiness
February 23, 2005
BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian
I would like to introduce you to the most comprehensive book on happiness I have ever read. The book is called Gateway to Happiness and the author is Rabbi Zelig Pliskin. I never thought I would say that one book could be the best on the subject of happiness, but I can definitely emphasize this point. I have almost 400 books that I have read and that I recommend on happiness on my Happiness Club web site. There are many good books and great books that have been written on happiness. I want to tell you why this is the best book on the subject.
Rabbi Pliskin does a skillful job helping us to understand happiness with thoughts like this one, "The person with greater control over his thoughts will have greater control over his emotions. Anyone who claims that one does not have a large amount of control over one's emotions is merely saying that he does not have much control over what he thinks about and how he perceives events."
I am not Jewish and I bring up this fact because the book has many references to the Jewish religion and tradition and you can skip these parts if you choose. I think that this book does the most comprehensive job of explaining happiness of any work I have ever read. To begin with, the book is not like most books that are written to tell you about the author's experience. This is a book of happiness facts that are categorized in chapters that make it easy to look up any particular topic you want to focus on and learn more about. Gateway to Happiness is actually more like a reference book that you can work with.
Let's say you are not feeling particularly happy today, then just think about what it is exactly that you are not happy about, and let's say for example that someone insulted you. Than open the book and look up the chapter called, "Insults." and you will learn the basics of dealing with insults from the perspective of being a happy person.
Rabbi Pliskin has chapters dealing with everything you could imagine that could rob you of your happiness. He has chapters dealing with worry, sadness, friendship, living in the present, anger, guilt, suffering, preventing problems, envy, desires, grief, discouragement and many more.
In his chapter on "Approval Seeking," Rabbi Pliskin writes, "If you seek approval, ask yourself why you want approval in the first place. The answer is ultimately, you want to be happy and you feel that approval is pleasurable and will give you happiness. Realizing how much needless suffering your approval seeking causes you, will motivate you to strive to master an attitude that allows you to feel happy even when people fail to show you honor and approval. It is ironic that something you want for happiness causes you so much unhappiness. By giving up your demand for approval, you will ensure yourself greater happiness in life."
This chapter was of significant benefit to me. It taught me that I do not have to seek approval in order to be happy. Why should I put my happiness in the hands of others in order to gain their approval? Why should I allow other people to have control over my happiness?
I got a note from one of the Happiness Club members that said he went to the library to look for Rabbi Pliskin’s book, Gateway to Happiness, and said that they do not have it. In the meanwhile another member has requested that the Fairfield Library purchase the book. At our last Happiness Club meeting someone told us about having ordered the book from a local bookstore and was told it had come in. When she went to purchase the book, she found out it had been taken by one of the workers. The store offered to get her another one at no charge. The book appears to be hard to get on Amazon. You can order the book from a store in New York called Eichler's. The book is available online at:
www.eichlers.com.The most incredible components of this book and the segments that make it great are the first four chapters. They are Chapter 1: Happiness is an obligation, Chapter 2: Appreciating what you have, Chapter 3: Happiness is dependent on your thoughts, and Chapter 4: Peace of mind. These four chapters include the best thinking and teaching explanations on happiness I have ever read.
As Rabbi Pliskin says, "Would you rather feel worse than you have to? Do you want to choose to feel happy? At the root of complaining is thinking that the situation could be better. At the root of satisfaction is being aware that the situation could be worse. In almost all instances things could be worse and they could be better. To master happiness a person needs to have a constant awareness that things are better than they could be."
The wisdom contained in Gateway to Happiness is essential for the individual seeking the happy life. As Rabbi Pliskin says, " Happiness is a skill that can be learned. The essential factor as to whether or not you will live a happy life is based on your attitudes toward life, toward yourself, toward other people, and toward events and situations."
Our next Happiness Club meeting will be on Thursday, March 10, from 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. The presentation will be from the book "Gateway to Happiness." The meeting will be held at the Sullivan Independence Hall, Fairfield. Admission is free; everyone is welcome. Looking forward to seeing you. Come on down, meet some great people, get connected, and have a great year!
Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club, a Happiness Coach, and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.happinessclub.com.