DON'T READ THIS!

May 25, 2005

 

BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian

 

Why are you reading this? It says not to read it. You should have been trained by now to do everything you are told to do, right? Well, I guess you are not like everyone else. That's why you're reading this, right?

 

I think you will agree with me that we are told far too many things that we should and should not do. It is time for us to do our own thinking and find out what is best for us.

 

Speaking of what is best for us the subject of happiness comes to mind. There is nothing better than happiness for you and for everyone else for that matter.

 

I want to share a recent letter that was sent to me regarding a question about happiness.

 

"I love the column, and speaking about waking up happy and liking yourself, I have a question... How can you feel good about yourself when others won't allow you to? I thought I was a great mom and now, since our daughter met this man and married him, I am treated like a stranger. She tells me about all my faults when she talks to us at all. That is just one example. Unless I do as I am told or expected to do, I am not considered a nice person. This has puzzled me for many years. I am open to any suggestions." Thank you, A Friend.

My Dear Friend,

Thank you for your kind words and wonderful question. You're not the only person in the world wrestling with this predicament in your life. In fact the root of the problem may well be a situation we all face in one way or another.

Feeling good about yourself is not something that you need to have permission from anyone except yourself. You do not have to wait till someone says you are a great person and you always do the right thing every minute of the day and night. Our first mistake in losing our happiness is in putting it in someone else's hand in the first place. Happiness is power and when we give our power away to others, we experience powerlessness, unhappiness, depression, fear, lack, helplessness, hopelessness and victimization.

 

The reason happiness is power is that it is the only way we can have control over our life. By being happy now we can control the one thing in our life that we have any control over. By giving others control we can never experience happiness. Control is the biggest problem in any relationship. People want to have control over you, and they will if you let them. By taking control of our happiness we can learn to accept and even appreciate other people for being the way they are without judging them. Believe it or not, people are doing the best they can. The more you accept them, the more control you have over yourself and the more control you will have over other people and situations.

 

I suggest to you my dear friend that you live your own life and learn to be as happy as you possibly can be. You need to practice being happy. The fact is that you want your daughter to accept you so that you can be happy. The truth is that when you can be happy, your daughter will have to accept you. Happiness is power and people will recognize it in you as soon as you begin to practice it. I am sure you want your daughter to be happy. All parents want their kids to be happy. The best way to do that is to practice being happy for yourself right now.

 

My dear friend, if your not going to be happy now, when will you be? If you wait till everything is perfect, you will never be happy because that will never happen, there's no such thing as perfection.

 

So my advice to you is don't listen to other people that tell you how to behave so they can be happy or so they can like you. Being you is an important part of being happy. You must be who you are, not what someone else thinks you should be. If you like yourself then others will like you the way you are because you have learned to accept yourself. Accept others as well and don't try to change them.

 

By being happy you will do more good for yourself than anything else you can do. By being happy you will do more good for others than anything else you can do. How can you give others happiness if you don't have it for yourself? Remember that you can't give away what you don't have.

 

The time is now for you to reach out for your own happiness. Make the decision right now and live your life for real meaning and purpose. If you are not happy in your life it is your responsibility; it's not other people's fault. They may not be doing the right thing, but it's up to you to do the right thing for yourself. You do not need permission to be happy. Don't make excuses for what others do. Only you can be kind to yourself regardless of what others do. By being kind to yourself you become more tolerant of others.

 

Many people try to do the right thing and they try to be good. Happy people are good people. It's time to be good and happy, than you will be happy and good for yourself as well as others. Remember that you're not good enough until you're happy!

 

Our next Happiness Club meeting will be on Thursday, June 16, from 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. The presentation will be "Feeling Happy!" The meeting will be held at the Sullivan Independence Hall, Fairfield. Admission is free; everyone is welcome. Looking forward to seeing you. Don't come to this meeting or you might meet some great people, get connected, and step out with joy in your life!

 

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club, a Happiness Coach, and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.HappinessClub.com.