Happ-E-Newsletter for February 14, 2002

Happ-E-Newsletter for February 15, 2002

Happy Valentine's Day To You!

Sending you this Valentine's Newsletter with thoughts of love, and happiness today and always. I hope you make this a great day. We all need love. We need to express love, even if we don't always get it. Sending love out there is one true way to happiness. It comes back, try it!

How do you read such a long newsletter? People tell me they print it out, and take it with them on their happiness journey!

Happ-E-Thought:) "Let enthusiasm radiate in your voice, your actions, your facial expressions, your personality, the words you use, and the thoughts your think!" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happ-E-Purpose:) To remind you to make the "Happiness Decision." You now have the next meeting date, more happiness information, and a copy of the Be Happy Zone Articles which are published twice a month in the Fairfield Citizen-News. Read today's article called: Happy Valentine's Day.

Happ-E-Test:) Last newsletter, you were asked if the statement: Forgiveness is good for your health, was True or False. We are including some of your comments about forgiveness.

Your response:) Is forgiveness good for your health? Most definitely! I am a fan of Louise Hay, and I agree with her thoughts on this subject. Louise feels that love is always the answer to health and healing, and that the way to love is through forgiveness. She feels that although it is always important to be at least willing to forgive everyone who has ever hurt us, it is most important that we forgive our parents, for whatever hurts they may have given us. She feels that we do not have to know how to forgive, rather, we simply need to be WILLING to forgive. The Universe will take care of the HOW'S. Louise feels that resentment, blame, and UNFORGIVENESS are the causes of ALL DIS-EASES!
In Peace and Happiness, and with the deepest gratitude for all of the wonderful work you are doing in The Greater Bridgeport area. - Anon

Your response:) Is Forgiveness good for your health? Yes, and No! It all depends on your definition of forgiveness. If it is something like this, "You have really hurt me, but being the magnanimous and superior person that I am, I will forgive you." The answer is no it will not bring you good health. On the contrary it will probably help your health to deteriorate. Whenever we say in our heart that someone else has hurt us we are accomplishing several negative things at once.
a. We have judged someone and found them guilty, even though Christ
specifically told us not to judge. As a result --
b. We feel guilty ourselves. We can't feel guilty and happy at the same
time. It is Happiness that brings health. True forgiveness brings happiness.
- John W. Herbert

Medical Answer:) I wrote to Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., for a medical answer to our forgiveness question. Dr. Luskin is the Director at Stanford University of the Forgiveness Project. He is the author of Forgive for Good, just published by Harper Collins this year. The book details the benefits of forgiveness and teaches you how to do it.
Check out his web site at: www.learningtoforgive.com.

Dr. Luskin's response to the question Forgiveness is good for your health!
In controlled scientific research learning to forgive has been shown to reduce depression, hurt, anger and stress and increase hope, optimism, physical vitality and self confidence. Forgiveness appears to buffer the stress that results from unmet expectations and the loss of loved ones and safety. This confirms the age old injunction from most of the world's religions to forgive those that have trespassed against us.

Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Director Stanford University Forgiveness Project and. author of Forgive for Good, Harper Collins, 2002 www.learningtoforgive.com

Check out some of these other web sites for more insight into how to use forgiveness as a power tool for your very own benefit.

Click here: WebMD - Forgiveness -- the Greatest Healer with Gerald Jampolsky, M.D. ---
Forgiveness -- the Greatest Healer with Gerald Jampolsky, M.D.
Best-selling author and psychiatrist Gerald Jampolsky, M.D., will discuss forgiveness, a healing process that holds the key to health and well-being.

Click here: WebMD - Holding a Grudge Can Be Bad for Your Health
Holding a Grudge Can Be Bad for Your Health Study Finds Forgiveness Has Bodily Benefits By Mike Fillon, MS
WebMD Medical News

Happ-E-Thought:) "To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." - Robert Muller

Happ-E-Mail:) Thank you Greg Faling for sending us "Something to think about." You most likely have seen this one before, but it is well worth reading again.

A Wonderful Message by George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Happ-E-Mail:) Lionel I would like to get your opinion of humor in our daily life. You know, important, useful, waste of time. I think I already know how you will
reply but I would like to hear it from you. God bless you and everyone in the Happiness club. - John

Hi John, I think the importance of humor is one of the most important things in relationships and day to day life. Humor is said to be one of the most important things women want from a man in a marriage.

I think humor can diffuse a potential flare up of anger and set the pace to peace.
Humor is inner jogging, it must do wonders for our physical health, our mental health and our spiritual well being.

We need humor so we have the ability to laugh at ourselves and not take ourselves too seriously. Happiness is far too important to take seriously. Keep smiling, Lionel

Happ-E-Thought:) "The happiness we all want and the suffering we all try to avoid are produced precisely by our own actions." Dalai Lama XIV

Happ-E-Mail:) Thanks to Chris Z. Check out this site:
http://dailymotivator.com/memberflash/rightnow.html

Happ-E-Mail:) Thank you Alice Katz for your comments about the last meeting and your wonderful poem.

Thank you for a great meeting last week. The speaker was dynamic, the atmosphere warm and as always, very uplifting. I look forward to the next meeting. Meanwhile, I'd like to share this poem I wrote today with you and others who read this newsletter.

GRAY DAY
The day
Is gray.
The sun
Is done.
In clouds it hides
To come outside
And brightly shine
Some other time.
Without the sun's light
No color is bright
In the world I see
Of house and tree,
And how I yearn
For the sun's return,
For the warmth and glow
Its rays bestow,
But shall I allow
The gray before me now
To drag me down
And put a frown
Upon my face this day?
No, that's not my way.
I intend to find the grin
That resides within,
My inner shining sun
That lets me have fun
And be happy I'm here
Whether or not the sky is clear,
For how I choose to be
Is really up to me!

- Alice Katz

Happ-E-Thought:) "A decision is made with the brain. A commitment is made
with the heart. Therefore, a commitment is much deeper and more binding than a decision." -- Nido Qubein

Happ-E-Mail:) Hi Lionel,
It was a great pleasure to meet you at the Happiness Club meeting last night and I really enjoyed chatting with you afterwards. It is so refreshing to meet a group of people who have a "glass is half full" attitude about life! Would you please add me to your e-mail newsletter list. I'm interested learning more about the group and look forward to seeing you all again...Liz

Happ-E-Mail:) Thanks to each and every one of you for sharing your caring words and thoughts. Please let us hear from you, spread your happiness, that is the surest way of Being Happy!

Happ-E-Meeting:) Join us for our next meeting! The HAPPINESS CLUB will present: "SPRING INTO HAPPINESS." Lionel Ketchian will be talking about the subject so don't miss this valuable meeting, and meet wonderful people using the benefits of happiness in their lives.

Topic:) "SPRING INTO HAPPINESS"
Date:) March 21, 2002
Time:) 7:00 - 8:45 P.M.
Place:) Fairfield Public Library
In the:) Rotary Room
Address:) 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield, CT 06430

Open to the Public and Admission is Free
Call Lionel Ketchian (203) 258-7777 or E-mail: PrintLRK@aol.com
http://www.happinessclub.com

Directions to the Fairfield Public Library
From New York - I- 95, Exit 21, Mill Plain Road. Right at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a left at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on right at the corner.
From New Haven - I- 95, Exit 22, North Benson Road. Left at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a right at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on left at the corner.

BE HAPPY ZONE
Fairfield Citizen-News
February 13, 2002

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
By Lionel Ketchian

Happy Valentine's Day to you! I am able to send you love as a result of the life changing decision that I have made. It is Being Happy that allows me to connect with love in the first place. What is love? It is a word that has so many meanings that it has lost its real meaning. It means feeling a certain way. Let me ask you a question. If I don't feel good about me, than how do I feel good about you? If I don't feel good about me, than I need you to feel good about me, so I can feel good, right?

We go out and look for someone to love, desperately. Even if someone would, or could love us in that state we would soon be unhappy. This is because we are unhappy and we are looking for someone to make us happy. Even if the other person you loved were happy it would not be enough to make you both happy.

When you first fall in love, the other person seems so perfect. You don't see any faults, you see only beauty and you're in touch with only wonderful feelings for them. It may take days, months, or years, but you begin to wonder what happened to this person you fell in love with. Did you really know them in the first place? Why have they changed so much? Maybe it's you? Maybe you changed your expectations of them. Maybe, you fell out of happiness!

If you don't feel happy, you cannot love. Where does love come from? I'll tell you where! Love comes from your happiness. A happy heart is a loving heart! Happiness is where love comes from. When you are happy, love is there. Think about it for a minute. We talk about finding the love of our lives and living happily ever after. Did you ever know anyone that wanted to get married so they could live unhappily ever after? I don't think so. Although everyone gets married because they fell in love and became happy, many eventually become unhappy nevertheless.

You cannot feel love toward another unless you are happy. Happiness is the foundation for love. I know you want to be loved, everyone wants to be loved. Sometimes you need to be loved because you do not love yourself. The reason is you are just not happy. The way it seems to happen is we are unhappy, so we need someone in our life to fill the void.

How many times have you heard that you need to learn to love yourself? But doesn't loving yourself seem self-centered? The answer is no! When you love yourself you are gentle on yourself, and you can more easily be that way with others. It's when you are self-centered, rather than self-loving that the problems start. Self-centered people want to talk about themselves all the time. They don't really care about others. You might hear someone say: "Oh, here I am talking about nothing but myself, for the last twenty minutes, enough of that. OK, it's your turn to talk about me." This is a joke of course, but there is some truth to it.

Self-centered people want everyone else to tell him or her how great they are. They want other people to love them, but they can't love back. Why? The reason is; they are just not happy. A person who is self-centered is not Being Happy and must constantly look for happiness. Self-centered people have little love for themselves so they have only a tiny bit to give others.

A self-loving person is happy and wants to share their happiness and love with other people. Self-loving people love themselves, so they are in touch with love within themselves. That is where they get the love they have to give others. When you love yourself, you are connected to yourself. You know yourself, and you have plenty of healthy self-esteem. You love others as much as you love yourself.

Remember no one is perfect by our standards. People are doing the best they can. It may not be the best you can do, but given their life experience, fears, hopes, and thinking, it is the best they can do at this time. Don't be too hasty to judge others; practice more forgiveness especially for your own sake, and for the sake of the ones you love.

What is happiness? It is unconditional acceptance of life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you can understand unconditional happiness you can begin to love, and be loved. Part of what I am talking about is accepting yourself for all your parts, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Once you do that you realize you are good enough. In fact you're perfect! When you feel good about yourself it is then that you can improve yourself. In fact Being Happy is the best self-improvement exercise that I know of.

We need to learn the Art of Being Happy. If you can begin living your life with happiness, love would find you so fast, you would not believe what happened. Once you are happy you will go out and attract, or be attracted to someone who is sincerely happy. Instead of being unhappy and finding someone to fill the void, being happy allows you to find someone to share your joy. WOW! What a winning combination that is. Two people who are happy could really find and share love, and it would be the real thing. Love can only grow in the happiness within you.

It is so important to be happy, and express our love. We must learn to detach our sense of worth from outside things and place it within ourselves for a real sense of worth. After all, how can you give love unless you have love to give? How can you give happiness, unless you have happiness? How can you give anything, unless you own it? When you have happiness within you, you can reach within and give love to another.

If you want to live happily ever after, then be happy now. This is the way to real love. People stop loving because they decide something else is more important than their happiness. If you want to love forever than don't give up your happiness. Allow Being Happy to show you the way to deal with obstacles and the problems that get in your way.

Come to our next Happiness Club meeting which is March 21, from 7:00-8:45 p.m. The topic is "Spring into Happiness," and will be held in the Rotary Room, at the Fairfield Public Library, located at 1080 Old Post Road. There is no charge for the happiness you gain, or the meeting!

Love flourishes in happiness, and multiplies and overflows in a rich and happy heart! A happy heart is a loving heart! Be Happy, and you will be more loving. Happy Valentine's Day!

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club. He can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.HappinessClub.com

Share a smile and forward this Newsletter to your friends. Or, it's FREE, and easy to subscribe. Just send your e-mail to subscribe at: Happinessclub@aol.com, or subscribe online at: http://www.HappinessClub.com

Happ-E-Thought:) "The way to happiness -- keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry, live simply, expect little, give much." - Carol Borges

HAPPINESS BECOMES YOU!
Sending Love, and Happiness to you,
Lionel

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