Reminding you to make the "Happiness Decision." Letting you know about our meeting dates, giving you happiness information, and your latest copy of the Be Happy Zone Article's that are published every other Wednesday in the Fairfield Citizen-News. At the end of this newsletter you can read the latest article called: Anger Management.

Think Smart, Look Smart, Be Smart...Be Happy! - Lionel

DR. BERNIE SIEGEL AT HAPPINESS CLUB DINNER MEETING:) Join Dr. Bernie Siegel and the Happiness Club for a dinner celebration to honor Bernie's work in bringing happiness to the world. Dr. Siegel is the author of Love, Medicine and Miracles. He has written several other books and is also the founder of ECaP - Exceptional Cancer Patients, in 1978. ECaP is an organization dedicated to providing tools, information and resources for individuals challenged by chronic illnesses. Learn more: Click here: Mind-Body Wellness Center - your source for whole person care.

The dinner meeting will be held on Wednesday, June 25th at the Peppermill Restaurant in Westport. You can find maps and travel directions on their web site Click here: Peppermill Restaurant in Westport, CT.
Event: HAPPINESS CLUB DINNER WITH DR. BERNIE SIEGEL
Place: Peppermill Restaurant
Date: Wednesday, June 25, 2003
Address: 1700 Post Road East, Westport, CT 06880
Time: 6:30 - 9:30 P.M.
Price: $32 includes tax and tip. Payment must be received by June 11, 2003
Choose one: A) Aged, Boneless Prime Rib of Beef
B) Baked Stuffed Jumbo Shrimp with Seafood Stuffing
C) Chicken Cordon Blue
Includes: Salad, entrée and vegetable, rice pilaf or roasted potato, soft drinks, coffee, cake and ice cream.

Check payable to:
American Litho
63 Unquowa Road
Fairfield, CT 06824

Please send your check along with your choice of entrée.
Seating is limited, if you wish to attend please send your check today!
Lionel Ketchian (203) 258-7777, E-mail: PrintLRK@aol.com.

Happ-E-Quote:) "To paraphrase something the anthropologist Ashley Montagu once said, the way I change my life is to act as if I'm the person I want to be. This is, to me, the simplest, wisest advice you can give anyone. When you wake up and act like a loving person, you realize not only that you are altered, but that the people around you are also transformed, because everybody is changed by the reception of this love. - Bernie Siegel, MD

Happ-E-Mail:) In W.W.II there was an advisor to Churchill who organized a group of people who stopped what they were doing every day at a prescribed hour for one minute to collectively pray for the safety of England, its people and peace. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in America. If you would like to participate, every evening at 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time, stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, its citizens, its men and women in the military, and for peace in the world. If you know anyone else who would like to participate, please pass this along. May there be Peace on Earth. And may it begin with me. Hey everyone, I got this from a friend of mine and thought it was a good thing to pass on. Hope everyone and their families are safe and healthy. - Lisa Simms

Happ-E-Quote:) Prayer is not an old woman's idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action." - Mahatma Gandhi

Happ-E-Mail:) Last night's Happiness Club meeting was great, really enjoyed it and looking forward to the next meeting. Please add me to your mailing list. Lee B.

Happ-E-Quote:) "Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug." - Og Mandino

Happ-E-Mail:) What a good meeting last night. I learn something everytime. The meetings always get me excited xoxo Lynette

Happ-E-Quote:) "Circumstances do not make the man or woman, they merely reveal them." - Brian Tracy

Happ-E-Mail:) I really want to thank you for this wonderful web site and the opportunity to read and share your thoughts and articles, on life, living and HAPPINESS!! My dear friend, Barry P., brought you to me and I have felt my heart opening and softening as I daily revisit your site and read the articles. In sharing your love and energy.....and your HAPPINESS, I have found myself changing, almost "blooming" and I love how I am feeling.

Thank you for caring enough and having the love in your heart to share your wisdom and resources with those of us who join you on The Happiness Club site. What a gift! I have come to realize that I alone have the power to choose the path I travel. I wonder why that realization is so hard for some of us to grasp? Happily, I feel I am now facing in the right direction and I DO choose HAPPINESS! Why would I not?!! It is there for all of us, if we choose it :)

My life is blessed, in so many ways. I am now choosing to make the most of every blessed moment and to appreciate who I am and the exciting adventure, called my life! What a wonderful, powerful and liberating feeling! Thanks to you again. I really needed to tell you just how much of an impact you have had on the way I am now choosing to embrace life, with happiness, love and appreciation. Your new friend, Mary R.

Happ-E-Web Site:) Our web master Renee and her husband Frank Filloramo just had their first baby. Her name is Caitlyn and she was born Sunday, March 16th at 6:42am. She weighed 8lbs. 2oz and 20 inches long. Renee said: "The delivery was really great. We're adjusting to this new life so well - Caitlyn is truly an angel and such a good baby - I feel so lucky. When I look at her - I'm so in love!" We send Mom and Dad our best wishes and thoughts of happiness. Renee has done an outstanding job on our Happiness Club web site. You can read about her under team information on our web site, as well as finding many new books, articles, and Happiness Club meeting information that have been added to the site. Click here: www.happinessclub.com.

Happ-E-Quote:) "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations win and preserve the heart." - Humphrey Davy

Happ-E-Mail:) This is a true story I experienced this weekend. I'm in the middle of a tag sale last Saturday, a 10 year old girl bought a small purse for a quarter. The next morning she returned with her mother and asked the tag sale proprietor, "Do you remember me?" Then the girl said she'd found $400 in the purse.

The proprietor was astonished and overwhelmed that they came back and brought back the money to her. She tried to give them $50 as a thank you but the mom wouldn't take it. Then the proprietor told the mom that she'd like the girl to know that when she did such a wonderful thing as she had, that somehow she'd be rewarded for her kindness. The mom finally accepted the $50 for her daughter. Both the mom and the proprietor were both choked up for a bit. Happy endings, indeed. - Carl Rodia

Happ-E-Quote:) "This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap, the being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy." - George Bernard Shaw

Happ-E-Award:) On behalf of the Happiness Club I received the Positive Influence Award from JustFolks. If you would like to read about the interview. Click here: JustFolks: March 1, 2003

Happ-E-Quote:) "Find your true path. It's so easy to become someone we don't want to be, without even realizing it's happening. We are created by the choices we make every day. And if we take action in order to please some authority figure, we'll suddenly wake up down the road and say, "This isn't me. I never wanted to be this person." - Bernie Siegel, MD

Happ-E-Mail:) This was sent to us from Barry Powel. What follows is an exact narration as transcribed from: The Inner Art Of Meditation by Jack Kornfield. ..."What's important to realize, is that it's not so much what we have or what experiences come to us in this life. But how we relate to them, that creates our happiness or our sorrow, that creates fear or compassion.

There's a good story from Molin Nas Radeem that illustrates this. At one point he was walking on the road and he saw an old man carrying a bag. This old man had retired, he'd had a fine life with his family and children and grandchildren, but he got bored and he wanted to travel around the world and find something new.

He traveled around and he discovered there wasn't really much new and he got more and more depressed seeing that everything was just how it was, and he was kind of walking down the road moping and Nas Radeem stopped him, and he told him his story and he said, "So I have all of what's valuable with me here in this bag and I'm looking around for new experiences, but the world is just the way it is."

Nas Radeem seeing his depression, reached out and grabbed the bag and took it from him and ran off in the woods. The man was quite dismayed, and walked further down the road yet more depressed. Nas Radeem cut through the woods, knowing the territory, and came out on the road further down where he placed bag in the center of the road, and then hid behind a tree.

Some minutes later the man came walking down the road, more dejected and depressed than ever, really unhappy he'd lost all his precious possessions. Then he sees the bag. He runs up to it and opens it and all the valuables are still in it, and he starts laughing and jumping for joy, and Nas Radeem steps from behind the tree and says, "Strange what it takes to make some people happy." from The Inner Art Of Meditation by Jack Kornfield.

Happ-E-Quote:) "There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them." - Phyllis Bottome

HAPPINESS CLUB MEETING:) Join us for our next Happiness Club meeting Thursday, April 17 from 7:00-8:45 p.m. The topic is Stress Reduction Techniques You Want" Lionel Ketchian and Lynette Turner. Don't miss this valuable meeting, and meet some wonderful people using happiness in their lives.

Topic:) "Stress Reduction Techniques You Want"
Date:) Thursday, April 17, 2003
Time:) 7:00 - 8:45 P.M.
Place:) Fairfield Public Library
In the:) Memorial Room (upstairs)
Address:) 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield, CT

Open to the public and admission is free. www.happinessclub.com.
Call Lionel Ketchian (203) 258-7777 or E-mail: PrintLRK@aol.com

Directions:
From New York - I- 95, Exit 21, Mill Plain Road. Right at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a left at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on right at the corner.
From New Haven - I- 95, Exit 22, North Benson Road. Left at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a right at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on left at the corner.

Happ-E-Quote:) "I don't sing because I'm happy; I'm happy because I sing."- William James

BE HAPPY ZONE
Fairfield Citizen-News
March 26, 2003

Anger Management
By Lionel Ketchian

We live in a world where we encounter anger every single day. It can be witnessing anger in another person or experiencing anger within ourselves. Our last Happiness Club meeting focused on managing anger. We had a panel discussion called "EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT ANGER." Alice Katz and I discussed the many aspects of anger. Ms. Katz is the author of the book; It's Not Personal! A Guide to Anger Management. Click here: Amazon.com: Books Search Results: Alice Katz

We started off the discussion by asking the question: what is anger? Alice said, "Anger is a protest against a perceived mistreatment." You can see by the definition of anger that by not taking things personally you create a very powerful way of managing your anger. It is a way to understand how anger can be effective or detrimental in a situation. When you assume the intent of the person is something that is bad for you, you will take it personally. In this case, you would blame the other person for what they did as a result of how you feel about how it affects you. On the other hand, you may be getting angry because of your own misperceptions. They may be angry thoughts triggered by your own thoughts or beliefs about other people's actions. This may not necessarily be true, but it's how you see the situation.

We were able to arrive at the agreement that to have expectations about things will lead to disappointment and unhappiness. We really understood this when one man in the audience asked: "What do you do when you are on the highway and a nasty driver speeds by, and cuts you off? How do you deal with it?" It seems that we will always experience that kind of thing on the roads, especially lately. We can't seem to change them, so we can only concentrate on ourselves. You must lower your expectations of these people. This way you do not let them control your reactions to their negative actions. They will have to live with themselves for the rest of their lives. That may be punishment enough. Life may not be very long for some of these reckless drivers. So, if we change what we can in the situation, we take control, by managing ourselves.

There are actually four ways that people express their anger. One way is by being passive. Passive people blame themselves. They let other people walk all over them and do or say nothing. Another way is by being passive-aggressive. These people seem passive but they are actually controlling and manipulative. These people may appear to be weak, but they control everyone by getting them to do things for them. Then there are aggressive people. Aggressive people are defensive. They scream and use insults to get their way. They think it is all about them and couldn't care less about others. The last group is made up of assertive people. Most people do not know the difference between being aggressive and being assertive. Aggressiveness is having your anger out of control. Assertiveness is managing your anger and learning how to express it in a productive and beneficial way. Assertive people would say, "when you do that, I feel hurt." An aggressive person would say "stop doing that you jerk." No wonder aggression causes more aggression.

I came across a note in a bathroom that said the following: "You haven't refilled this soap canister for over a week." I changed the note to read: "Please fill with soap, thank you very much." The next day the soap was filled. This is an example of getting angry about something and not having your anger get you what you want. By thinking about what it is that you want you can ask directly for it. Then include the thank you and gratitude for doing it. Once you thank someone they will feel like doing it for you. Plus you show them what you expect from them while showing them how much you appreciate what they are doing. You can either be happy or you can be right. Right does not always get you what you want. Happiness does!!!

If you would like to learn more about anger and how to manage it, then I thoroughly recommend Alice Katz's book. She has done a comprehensive job of showing us how to handle anger. I am amazed at the extent of Ms. Katz's thoroughness on this subject. She has done an outstanding job of showing us everything we need to know about controlling our anger. I think that her book, It's Not Personal! A Guide to Anger Management, is a must read for all of us, especially at these times of stress in our lives. She assists us in understanding anger in it's many different forms.

Alice shows us the feelings that we need to acknowledge and manage. She gives us excellent real life stories that are short and to the point. She leads us to freedom within each chapter. She does an excellent job of showing us how to control our anger by finding the best ways of managing it. She covers everything possible about managing our anger: how to, why to, why not, where, and when it is appropriate. I think this book is important to read if you are an angry person or live with an angry person. Either way you will gain the proper perspective to live life in a far better way. As Alice would say: "Remember that you cannot change the way people behave, only the way you think about it."

I think Aristotle put it best when he said: "It is easy to fly into a passion - anybody can do that - but to be angry with the right person to the right extent and at the right time and with the right object and in the right way - that is not easy, and it is not everyone who can do it."

Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club, a Happiness Coach, and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The Web site is www.HappinessClub.com.

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"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." - Hugh Downs

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