Happ-E-Newsletter for October 15, 2003
Welcome My Dear Friend,
I hope you and your friends and family will join my
wife Barbara and I for
The concert is a fundraiser for the Coordinating Council for Children in Crisis for the Basket Brigade, which is a group of wonderful volunteers who have been delivering Thanksgiving Baskets to approximately 125 needy families a year in the New Haven, CT area and have been doing it for the past ten years. Each $15 donation feeds two people at Thanksgiving, $25 feeds a family of four.
"The world is not moved only by the mighty shoves of the heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker." - Helen Keller
Happiness is an issue of power. We give our happiness to others for many reasons. Then we think that they make us unhappy. The truth is that we have given others the power over ourselves. We must take our power back in order to be happy again. Now is the time for you to learn to use happiness in dealing with challenges and difficult people in your life so you can develop the power to prevail.
Happiness Empowerment to You!
PRACTICE HAPPINESS - LIVE RICHLY
Happiness is one of the most important things in your life. Happiness does wonders for your soul. I want you to practice "Premeditated Happiness." You should know that reading this newsletter will not just make your life better; it will make the world a better place because you have decided to be happy!
Reminding you to make the "Happiness Decision." Letting you know about our meeting dates, giving you happiness information, and your latest copy of the Be Happy Zone Article's that are published every other Wednesday in the Fairfield Citizen-News. At the end of this newsletter you can read the latest article called: ARE YOU A THOUGHT-A-HOLIC?
Today was an incredible day. I had the opportunity of a lifetime to speak with and interview Dr. Robert Muller, a former Assistant Secretary-General of the United nations and his wonderful wife Barbara. I consider Dr. Muller a leading thinker and pioneer in his work on bringing Peace and Happiness to the world. Make sure you read the next issue of November 1st Happy Newsletter. It will be devoted to this great man and his ideas. You can receive their free daily e-mail to wake up to a Good Morning World! Click here: Good Morning World - Robert Muller's Daily Email Message For A Better World. GoodMorningWorld.org
Do you prefer that you be right, or that you be happy? - A Course in Miracles
Think Smart, Look Smart, Be Smart...Be Happy! - Lionel
Happ-E-Mail:) This article was sent in by Fern from Florida. An article in the New Scientist Magazine said Don't worry, be Nigerian. It was about a surprising poll that concluded that Nigerians are the happiest people on the earth and Romanians are the least. Americans come in at number 15. The World Values Survey polled the residents of 32 countries to determine who gets the greatest pleasure out of life. Even thought Nigeria has massive poverty and political problems it was still number one. Along with that thought Mexico came in number two. It seems Americans are not that happy. They do find satisfaction in "personal success, self-expression and pride" according to the survey.
Happ-E-Quote:) "Things do not change, we change." - Henry David Thoreau
Happ-E-Mail:) I had forgotten about your newsletter as I have a new E-Mail address. The old one still exists and I wandered into it the other day. I'm going through a difficult passage- a marriage ending after 36 years. Some of the quotes really lifted my spirits. The one about the smiling group being more likely to do good deeds than the non smiling group really hit me. The next day I was seeing patients after very little sleep. Rather than moaning about how hard life is, I thought of some of the quotes and started smiling, had a spring in my step, and hummed a happy tune. I noticed that almost everyone I passed smiled back. By the time I reached my car to go see the next patient, I was no longer tired. If reading the newsletter can do that, I think attending a meeting would have me floating off like a helium balloon!! Thanks for the inspiration. Kathleen Fletcher
Charleston, SC
Happ-E-Mail:) Thank you for your comments. We need more education on how to be happy! - Diane
Happ-E-Quote:) "The bird of paradise alights only on the hand that does not grasp." - John Berry
Happ-E-Mail:) I watched the show, Finding Happiness on TV...it was great.....and yes I saw myself..lol....have a fun day tomorrow....hugs to ya Bambi :-)
Happ-E-Quote:) "God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" - William A. Ward
Happ-E-Mail:) As always, your newsletter inspires me. Thank you for keeping me on your list. I read the entire thing (sometimes it takes awhile – I read it in between work) . . . I love the quotes and the e-mails. I copy my favorite quotes to my desktop (stickies program on a Mac) so I can re-read the quote all week. I find this helps me to focus on my happiness! Keep up the good work. Lionel – You and I met on the Women in Production cruise last year. Lori from Printing News wrote a nice article about your work with happiness. Are there any groups on Long Island? Faith Young
Happ-E-Quote:) "Don't work for my happiness, my brothers-show me yours-show me that it possible-show me your achievement-and the knowledge will give me courage for mine." - Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
Happ-E-Mail:) Dear Lionel and all people in happiness, Although this is late in posting, I want to express how truly joyful and warming it was to attend my first meeting of the Happiness Club in September. I was also fortunate enough to share a bite (actually many, many bites) to eat with Lionel, Dolly, and my friend Martha after the meeting. Good people and good food -- what more could one ask for? Thank you for the happiness! Love, Dottie
Happ-E-Quote:) "Personal mastery teaches us to choose. Choosing is a courageous act: picking the results and actions which you will make into your destiny." - Peter Senge
Happ-E-Mail:) Just want to say thank you for speaking at our Women's Club last night. You were a real hit! Everyone at work commented on what a great meeting it was. I had to give a recap of your talk to a number of people, including men teachers who were in the building and wondered what all the laughter was about. I told them they should have joined us and found out. Please keep in touch. Fran Gargano :)
Happ-E-Mail:) Your talk at the St. Rose Women's Club was wonderful. Please send me the newsletter at the above email address. Kathleen Chrusciel Desrosiers
Happ-E-Mail:) I attended the St. Rose Women's Club meeting last night and would like to receive your newsletter. Thank you so very much for coming last evening. Debra Sennefelder
Happ-E-Mail:) I attended a Woman's Club meeting last week (Oct.9th), and heard Lionel Ketchian speak - I enjoyed the evening - I would like to sign up for the free e-mail - Thank you, Karen Mannhaupt
Happ-E-Quote:) "The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Happ-E-Mail:) I am looking forward to the next meeting. When I first saw you speak at my church 2 & 1/2 years ago I was about to be separated and had no idea what was about to unfold. Since then so many positive things have happened, because I am responsible for what I think about myself and you were the first to give me permission to be me. The way you put it in the happiness course was "your parents, teachers, no one ever taught this." I am proud of myself and how I have handled the process of divorce. I will not forget to care about others but at the same time realize they are responsible for their place in the universe and their own happiness. I will take responsibility for mine. What a huge pressure this is off my back! Thank you for giving so much, Smiling ...By the way, I am Quitting smoking too. One more thank you, and to Dr. Bernie Siegel, I am using his words, "W.W.L.D." "What would Lassie do." Picturing a dog with a cigarette in his mouth ... just isn't right! One week and counting! Your Friend, Jim Comstock
Happ-E-Quote:) "Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are the cornerstones of happiness." - Epicurus
Happ-E-Mail:) Dear Happiness Club, I would just like to thank you for your inspirational words and wisdom about happiness. As a troubled teenage girl living in Atlanta, GA- I stumbled upon your website one night when I was feeling especially upset and depressed. I felt as if I had no control over the things that were happening to me and that I had been defeated by life. However, upon reading some of Lionel Ketchian's articles on happiness, I realized that I had control over the well being of my life! Your website has truly made a tremendous impact on my life and I would like to thank you for all that you do to spread happiness! Good luck with all your endeavors and I hope the Happiness Club continues to grow! Allie, Atlanta Ga
Happ-E-Reply:) Dear Allie, It is I who have to thank you for your positive and wonderful words. They mean a great deal to me. I am so glad that reading about the control you have has made a difference to you in your life. Remember that we all do everything we do so you can get happiness. Start Being Happy and use that state of mind to experience everything in your life. That will put you in charge of your life. Allie, you will not only make your life better, but everyone that is around you as well. Hope you enjoy the Happ-E-Newsletter! Sending Love, and Happiness to you always! Best regards to you! Lionel
Happ-E-Quote:) "It is unfortunate we can't buy many business executives for what they are worth and sell them for what they think they are worth." - Malcolm Forbes
Happ-E-Mail:) In September's Special Issue of Prevention Healthy Kids issue 2003 there is an article on happiness you might be interested in. The name of the article is Maximum Joy, by Andrea Malin, a compilation of "14 ways to learn to feel lucky you're alive." According to happiness researcher, Sonja Lyubominsky, Ph.D., of the University of California, life circumstances only account 10% of happiness. Half depends on our genetic "set point", which is kind of like the weight our body bounces back to after that crash diet. About 40% of our happiness is influenced by what we do deliberately to make ourselves happy. And being happy is the key antecedent to joy.
According to the compilation by Malin, here's what experts believe you can do to increase the joy, both large and small, in your life.
1. NOTICE WHAT'S RIGHT
2. BE GRATEFUL
3. REMEMBER THE KID YOU WERE
4. BE KIND
5. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR "HOMIES"
6. DON'T OVERDO IT
7. SAVOR EVERY MOMENT
8. MOVE
9. REST
10. PUT ON A HAPPY FACE
11. PURSUE YOUR GOALS
12. GET INTO THE FLOW
13. PLAY TO YOUR STRENGTHS
14. FIND YOUR CALLING
Full explanations are given to the 14 items. I found the article very interesting and informative and thought I'd share it with you. Always have happy days & evenings. Helen Kapikian
Happ-E-Quote:) "Don’t let go of the vine." - John Weissmuller, film’s Tarzan
Happ-E-Mail:) Dear Lionel, How is my favorite Happiness Class Professor doing? I hope that all is well with you and your family. Is the Happiness Club planning to continue to hold regular meetings, during the year-long renovations at the Main Library? It has stayed alive, with regularity for so very long, now, that it would be a "crying shame" if it was "forced" to dismantle... I want to thank you, sincerely, for helping me to develope a "happiness habit." You, and the Happiness Club, have tremendously improved the quality of my life, and for that I am forever grateful.
Happ-E-Reply:) Yes, we will still hold meetings. The last one will be December 11, 2003. Anybody have any suggestions about where to hold meetings next year starting in January, 2004? We may have them at the Town Hall in Fairfield. What do you think? Let us know!
Happ-E-Quote:) "Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you." - Frank Tyger
Happ-E-Mail:) Your site is incredible! Thanks for doing such a wonderful thing for the world! - Amazing link between happiness and kindness towards others.
Happ-E-Quote:) "When you rise in the morning, form a resolution to make the day a happy one for a fellow creature." - Sydney Smith
Happ-E-Mail:) Have a great day filled with wonderful smiles. Much love and happiness, Marianne
Happ-E-Mail:) I was going through the Internet searching for info on being happy, and came across the article being happy by Lionel Ketchian. Is there a club around here in Chicago, I moved here recently. I always seem to be unhappy most of my life.
HAPPINESS CLUB MEETING:) The Happiness Club is having its next meeting on Thursday, October 23, from 7:00 - 8:45 p.m. at Fairfield Public Library, Rotary Room, 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield. The topic is "got HAPPINESS?" by Michael Wano, the author of Refill For Life and Lionel Ketchian. Michael mentioned that there will be a surprise to all the people that attend this meeting. Don't miss this valuable meeting, and meet some wonderful people using happiness in their lives.
NEXT HAPPINESS CLUB MEETING:)
Topic:) "got HAPPINESS?"
Date:) October 23, 2003
Time:) 7:00 - 8:45 P.M.
Place:) Fairfield Public Library
In the:) Rotary Room
Address:) 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield, CT
Open to the public and admission is free. www.happinessclub.com.
Call Lionel Ketchian (203) 258-7777 or E-mail: PrintLRK@aol.com
Directions:
From New York - I- 95, Exit 21, Mill Plain Road. Right at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a left at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on right at the corner.
From New Haven - I- 95, Exit 22, North Benson Road. Left at bottom of ramp. Under railroad overpass make a right at light (Post Rd.), 1/2 mile on left at the corner.
BE HAPPY ZONE
Fairfield Citizen-News
October 8, 2003
ARE YOU A THOUGHT-A-HOLIC?
By Lionel Ketchian
Do you wake up in the morning with negative thoughts entering your mind? Do you start each day allowing unwanted thoughts to fill your head? Do these thoughts affect the way you feel throughout the day? Do you feel that you do not have control of your thinking? Do you have the same thoughts running through your head all day long? Are these thoughts leading you to feel fear? You may be a thought-a-holic. You may be suffering from thought-a-phobia.
Thought-a-phobia is completely curable and this article may just be the tonic you're looking for. Let's understand the dynamics of the process. You wake up in the morning and you notice a negative thought popup. Naturally you start to THINK about this thought. Your thinking entangles you in the thought and now you become completely engaged in the whole routine. It is a routine that you seem to get caught in with no way out. Each day it is the same old thing, worries, uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear.
How could all this take place from just a thought? Well, it can and it does. People experience thousands and thousands of thoughts each day. The big problem is that it can be the same negative thought repeating itself thousands of times in a single day. That is not THINKING, it is Though-a-phobia. It is important to understand that a thought can pop into your head anytime for any reason. It does not have to make sense. Who said you had to entertain this thought just because it showed up "unannounced?"
You think that this is your thought because it popped in on you, but it's not! It is just a thought. It is not really your thought till you start THINKING about it, and that's when you will make it your thought. Let me give you an example for you to understand how it works. Let's say you get up in the middle of the night because you were having a nightmare. OK it's all right; it was just a bad dream. You go back to bed and relax. You would not try to fix the nightmare. You would be better off ignoring it. The whole point is that you do not have to continue the nightmare. You would just forget about it.
The same is true with a negative thought. Once you engage a negative thought you start to think about it. And when you think about that negative thought you give it power over you and allow yourself to feel powerless and helpless. The trick is not to THINK about a negative thought. It is completely different to think about what you want. It is important not to let your thoughts decide what you should think. As John Dryden said: "Only man clogs his happiness with care, destroying what is, with thoughts of what may be."
If you want to THINK about a negative thought than THINKING means finding choices and solutions. When you're THINKING about what your choices are relating to a negative thought than that is called THINKING. If you are not THINKING, that is finding choices and solutions, than you're doing something else. You're worrying, you're awfulizing, you fearing, and you're a thought-a-holic again. Cut it out! You cannot take control of your thoughts. So just let them go, don't engage them. But you absolutely can control your THINKING.
Don't get caught in the web of negative thought. Start cleaning house right now. Clean out those spider webs of negative thoughts in your head. Clear your head so you can think clearly. Now you see that when a thought comes along, so what! It's not your thought right now. It may have been in your past, so what, just let it go! Unless you want it to be in this present moment and monopolize your thinking for the rest of the day, don't mentally give it a place to roost. If you don't give a negative thought a landing place it will not bother you. Realize that you control your thinking but not your thoughts. Thoughts are like birds, if you feed them they will land on you. If you don't feed them they will continue to fly away. As William Lyon Phelps the author of the book called, Happiness said: "The happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts."
If you must worry than I have this one suggestion for you. Get someone to help you worry. Put a schedule on the refrigerator that shows you who is going to worry and for what period of time. You could do the worrying from 6:00 to 11:00 AM and than someone else could worry from 11:00 AM till let's say 4:00 PM. If you can't find more people to take the remaining time you have left for the day, than you would break it up between the two of you. The purpose of this is to let someone else worry while you don't. Then when it is their turn, you worry and they don't have to. After a while you may both forget to worry when you were supposed to and figure out that no one should bother worrying after all. Why worry? I know someone has to do it but why you? Let someone else do the job. You can retire from it and just enjoy the rest of your life. Do more thinking and less worrying.
You are the reason we have Happiness Club meetings. Think of us as your REFILL FOR LIFE and come on down to our next meeting on October 23, from 7:00-8:45 p.m. The topic is "got Happiness?" You will meet Michael Wano the author of Refill For Life. He is going to speak about his book and your happiness. The meeting will be held in the Memorial Room, at the Fairfield Public Library, located at 1080 Old Post Road. There is no charge for the meeting or the happiness power you will get. Get happy and make tracks for this meeting for your refill now.
Don't allow your mind to be a place where drifting thoughts create a traffic jam. Stop your addiction to letting negative thoughts tell you what to fear. Use your mind to THINK about what you want. Let me close with these timeless words of Marcus Aurelius, 2000 years ago: "The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature."
Lionel Ketchian is the founder of the Happiness Club, a Happiness Coach, and can be reached at PrintLRK@aol.com. The website is www.HappinessClub.com.
Share a smile and forward this motivating Happ-E-Newsletter to your friends and family members you care about. Brighten their day by giving them a FREE Newsletter. Or, it's FREE, and easy to subscribe, just send your blank e-mail to happinessclub@aol.com, or subscribe online at: www.happinessclub.com.
Happiness is an inner state of well being. A state of well being that enables you to profit from your highest: thoughts, wisdom, intelligence, common sense, emotions, health, and spiritual values in your life. - Lionel Ketchian
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Life is full of opportunities. Go For It! Carpe diem!
© Copyright 2003, Lionel R. Ketchian, all rights reserved.