Happ-E-Newsletter for November 1, 2004

Welcome My Dear Friend,

Glad you are checking your Happy E-Newsletter. We have a lot going on this month. It's November, do you believe it? Thanksgiving is coming soon and if you really want to get yourself in the holiday mood, and who doesn't these days, come to the Basket Brigade this month? We have information in this newsletter about it. Hope I see you there! You'll be happy you participated.

According to the Dalai Lama, "The very purpose of our life is happiness, joyfulness, inner peace and inner strength. We must have the self-confidence to become aware of our own potential and our own life purpose. By training our mind and our mental perception, we can change our lives and change the world."

"The happiness we all want and the suffering we all try to avoid are produced precisely by our own actions." - Dalai Lama XIV

Sending Love, and Happiness to you,
Lionel

"When you learn not to want things so badly, life comes to you." - Jessica Lange
Happiness Empowerment to You! LIVE RICHLY...PRACTICE HAPPINESS!

Happiness is one of the most important things in your life. Happiness is an inner state of well being. A state of well being that enables you to profit from your highest: thoughts, wisdom, intelligence, common sense, emotions, health, and spiritual values in your life. Happiness does wonders for your soul. Practice "Premeditated Happiness." Happiness is an issue of power. We give our power to others for many reasons, and we think that they will make us happy. The truth is that we have given others power over ourselves. We can take our power back in order to be happy again. Now is the time to learn to use happiness in dealing with challenges and difficult people in your life so you can develop the strength to prevail. Reading this newsletter will not just make your life better; it will make the world a better place...because you have decided to be happy!

Reminding you to make the "Happiness Decision." Giving you our Happiness Club Meeting dates, brining you The Happiness Show on TV, happiness information, and your latest copy of the Be Happy Zone Article that is published every other Wednesday in the Fairfield Citizen-News. At the end of this newsletter you can read the latest article called: Bonjour de Paris!!!

"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." - Aristotle

Think Smart, Look Smart, Be Smart...Be Happy! - Lionel Ketchian

Happ-E-Quote:) When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself. - Tecumseh, Shawnee Chief

Happ-E-Quote:) "Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." - Ludwig Borne (1786-1837) Journalist

Happ-E-Mail:) Happ-E-Mail:) Thanks for your wonderful, uplifting newsletter. I downloaded it and will read it again when I shuffle off to bed tonight. I haven't made recent meetings. However, it's good to be busy!!!!! Hope to attend your Dec. 16th meeting. Thanks, Happiness is a Hersey Kiss. Millicent Zolan

Happ-E-Quote:) "All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Happ-E-Mail:) The movie, "What the Bleep Do We Know!" is a must see. From a Happiness Club Member.

Happ-E-Quote:) "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde

Happ-E-Mail:) Happy Halloween to you and all of ol' Fairfield. Just wanted to say that your column titled ACCEPTANCE (10-15-04), where you dealt with handling negative thoughts was one of your finest. Very nice conceptually, very well written, very practical and therefore very useful. Congratulations. You are clearly building toward a book, my friend. Cal Sutliff

Happ-E-Quote:) ""When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel." - Rabbi Harold Kushner

Happ-E-Mail:) Saturday, November 20th is our Big Basket Delivery Day. Since 1994 (yes this is our 11th year!!!) on the weekend before Thanksgiving, volunteers have been putting together and delivering baskets with all the fixins’ to those in need in the greater New Haven area. Last year we added several deliveries to Bridgeport and hope to expand even more in that area. We work with several agencies to find the families needing assistance: CCCC (Coordinating Council for Children in Crisis), Yale Child Study Center, Cornerstone, Bella Vista, and The Connecticut Department of Social Services.

A typical basket that we provide may include: turkey, stuffing, potatoes, cranberry juice, vegetables, brownie mix, pie, juice, donated personal care items, a toy, books…..and other goodies. We also include a book, "Notes From a Friend" by Anthony Robbins, with a quote inside saying, "This comes from someone who cares about you. All that we ask is that you take care of yourself well enough to be able to do this for someone else someday."

For the first 9 years we provided 100-125 families with food. Last year we reached a new plateau feeding 185 families. A donation of $300 feeds 10 families, $150 feeds 5 families, and $30 feeds 1 family. Any donation will help tremendously! One hundred percent of your donations go towards purchasing food and toys.

All donations are tax deductible and can be given to your contact, or mailed to: CCCC (the Coordinating Council for Children in Crisis), 131 Dwight Street, New Haven, CT 06511. Please indicate "Basket Brigade" in the memo section. CCCC is a non profit organization who has been providing client names and assists with our efforts every year. Upon completion of the Basket Brigade, CCCC will mail a thank you letter (an employer may want to hang this up) which with your canceled check will be your receipt.

We can use you on Saturday, November 20th, at 9:00 AM at:
Innovative Measurement Solutions (IMS) Inc.
282 Quarry Road
Milford, CT 06460-8508
(203) 874-2655

For directions and more information concerning the 2004 Basket Brigade, please contact:

Happ-E-Quote:) "The love you give away is the only love you keep." - Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915) Writer and publisher

Happ-E-Mail:) Was so....great to have met you today and I do believe that things happen for a reason. Who knows?? In any case, thank you for all of your positive and wonderful messages and for the newsletter and information for the next several meetings. I have marked them on my calendar and look forward to attending. By the way, I did catch your Bonjour de Paris segment in Wednesday's. Fairfield Citizen-Newspaper. I will look forward to them on a regular basis now. I think this connection will be a good one for me at this time in my life!!! Regards, JoAnn

Happ-E-Quote:) "Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be; custom will soon render it easy and agreeable." Pythagoras (c. 580-c. 500 B.C.) Philosopher and mathematician

Happ-E-Mail:) Just read this month's Happy Newsletter, great as always. I especially enjoyed you discussion of acceptance. Many people spend so much of their life energy fighting with what they can't change that they have nothing left for anything else...like being happy. Eventually we must understand that life brings us things we like and don't like. In the don't like category are things we can do something about and those we just must accept. Non acceptance leads to an accumulation of negativity that pervades us and keeps us from happiness. The best strategy is to fully feel and then release the negative feelings from the negative events we cannot change. That way they don't act as a constant anchor pulling down our happiness. At least that's how I handle negative events and it works! Much happiness to you and the world. Bob Nozik, MD.

Happ-E-Quote:) "Choices are the hinges of destiny." Edwin Markham (1852-1940) Poet

Happ-E-Mail:) Thank you so much for the joy you gave to me on Thursday night...two solid hours of peace and harmony...with a song, quotations, poetry, wonderful add-ons from the group, and your words of wisdom for the night. Thank you also for inviting me to tell about my book "Generous Moments, Snapshots of Goodness on Ordinary Days." As you encouraged everyone to make a choice for happiness that then light would shine upon our paths. It is true. My book ends with the same message. "If your heart sings, the echo will be goodness." Goodness for you and goodness for others. If we create a better world inside of us, surely the Lord must be joyful, for He knows that we will then create a better life for those around us. Life is a song if we choose to write good words. Gratefully, Cathie Pike

Happ-E-Quote:) "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." - Margaret Thatcher

Happ-E-Mail:) hello, I receive your happiness newsletter each month but I live outside of Boston and was wondering, do you have any clubs in Massachusetts? thanx, Francesca

Dear Francesca, I wish we did. No Happiness clubs yet. Would you like to start one, or do you know anyone who would? Thanks so very much for your note. It means a great deal to me. Stay happy no matter what!

Happ-E-Quote:) "Before my accidents, there were ten thousands things I could do. I could spend the rest of my life dwelling on the things that I had lost, but instead I chose to focus on the nine thousand I still had left." - W. Mitchell

Happ-E-Mail:) I truly enjoy the newsletter. I am a Catholic lay person and many of the concepts are topics I use in the Spirituality groups that I do with patients. Happiness (or lack of it) is a spiritual issue that has to do with finding meaning in life. Your words in this edition about acceptance are so right. It is when we fight what we cannot change that all happiness drains out of us, like a leaky battery! I look forward to meeting you, and will try to come to your November Happiness Club meeting in Fairfield. Geri Abbott, Chaplain

Happ-E-Quote:) "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." - William Jennings Bryan

Happ-E-Mail:) Your newsletter was wonderful. I printed it to share and enjoy. I know how busy you are, but if you still have the invitation to my show at the Southport Gallery. You will see how you helped me to make happy stories out of not so happy stories thank you. Tell me a story and it will live in my heart forever...Elisa

Happ-E-Quote:) "In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." - Theodore Roosevelt

Happ-E-Mail:) Just a note to thank you for the wonderful job you did at the St. Rose Women's Club the other night. I came away with some valuable information, especially about not worrying about what already happened, and not letting someone rob us of our joy. Fran Gargano

Happ-E-Quote:) "We all need to decide whether to ‘play it safe’ in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making? " - Charlie Badenhop

Happ-E-Mail:) I just wanted to thank you for the time you gave me. It was so generous of you to do what 99.9999% of people would never do! I did learn alot from you. The books you turned me onto are great -- they are right by my bed where I read and reread stuff each night. But even more important than the books is the information you shared with me, and what a role model you are. If I can become a fraction of what you are, I will be very, very satisfied. As for being happy, I am doing alot better. I made a commitment to myself after we spoke on Tuesday to put all negatives out of my head for 21 days. So far it has been 3 days and I have been successful. Of course, a big part of me misses the drama and misery (maybe that sounds strange) but I am trying to show myself another way. I don't seem to have trouble cognitively changing my thoughts -- but I do have trouble with acceptance. Still I know that I must accept since the other has led to poor results. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you immensely for EVERYTHING you have given me. Best, R.

Happ-E-Quote:) "It is always your next move." - Napoleon Hill

Happ-E-Mail:) I just sign up for your newsletter and thought I might pass this along. I'm a self taught, half ass nutritionist. I have always thought that happiness and the body go hand in hand. Like body, mind, spirit. I personally think that if you are going to talk about happiness you had better talk about nutrition. The book I'm presently reading, John Gray's (The Mars & Venus Diet & Exercise Solution) it backs up my theory. While on your website and saw Food For Thought, I was hoping there was something in it about nutrition, but I doubt it. People in this country are in poor health with all the refined garbage they eat, chemically modified pills (Prozac, Vioxx, Celebrex, etc.) they take and a whole host of other environmental problems. I personally think, every self help book should have a section on nutrition. Please read John's book and give me your thoughts on what you think. Have a GREAT DAY !!! Carl

Dear Carl, I think you are right. I am taking better care of myself now that I am 59 because I am learning how important it is to do it. I am not only happier but I am healthier as well.

Happ-E-Quote:) "More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity." - Francois Gautier Journalist

Happ-E-Mail:) I have been receiving your news letter for some time and I share it every chance I get with friends who are "border line"...in hope they will "cross over to the happy side," untie the ribbons on their daily gifts and know life can become whatever you choose. (: or :) It is that simple. I am the mother of two wonderful boys Alex and Dan. Dan was diagnosed with melanoma cancer in 1993 and on December 24th 1999, after five and ½ years and no signs of additional cancer, he was told that he had six brain tumors that were not operable. He immediately began his PLAN for his life and those that loved him. We had buried his younger brother Alex age 30 in 1996. At age 30, Alex and Shelly were really doing well. Six figure income two precious children and doing great. During a relocation move Alex did not take the time or have someone who cared enough to bug him about insurance needs for the family. One Tuesday morning in June of 1996, after speaking to a group of seventy-five business associates, he sat down and never got up. He had what is called heart arrhythmia …. your heart skips a beat and does not return to its normal rate. He was airlifted to Hershey, PA medical center and was on life support for four days. On Friday, June 7th 1996 we shut life support off … he was brain dead. Fortunately Shelly had medical coverage with her company but nothing else. The company Alex worked for created a trust for the children and that was a blessing. Last Wednesday was Alex's birthday. He was 39, he was 30 when he passed in June of 1996. Dan was 39 when he passed in April of 2000. He made his 39th birthday on April 6th and went home to be with his brother on April 30th and both boys always brought happiness into the lives they touched...no bad days only blessed ones.

My choice remains to first trust in my God, to know if he leads us to it he will bring us through it. No time to ask why me, how could this have, or the hundreds of other negative thoughts that can take you over if you allow them to reside inside you. My mission has been to reach out to those individuals that find themselves on this journey, which they never imagined "they would travel," it always happens to someone else, and share with them why I still know that even on this journey, happiness is so much better and healthy than being depressed and going inward and closing your doors to others. One of my favorite sayings is: Pain Is Inevitable...Misery Is Optional. I just recently got my lovely "Purple Happiness Happens" shirt and wear it often. I feel extra happy when doing so. Everyone should have one to put on when perhaps the have a "border line" day. Thank you for your uplifting messages, thoughts, care and just being you. I choose happiness! May God continue to richly bless you and those that help you make all this possible. You have made this a wonderful day! Your happiness soul mate, Jackie Searl

Happ-E-Quote:) "If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something, I can neither give nor receive." - Dorothee Soelle (1929-2003) Theologian and writer

Happ-E-Mail:) Thank you so much for you wonderful, inspiring newsletter. What a perfect way to start my working day - by read your enlightening newsletter. Thanks for making the world a better place. Sending you smiles from Melbourne, Australia, Jen J

Happ-E-Quote:) "No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth." - Robert Southey (1774-1843) Poet

Happ-E-Mail:) I have changed my email address recently and just wanted to let you know so that I do not miss out on those wonderful Happy E-Newsletters! I came across a wonderful saying recently that I would like to share with you, it is "For there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it so" - William Shakespeare. Stay happy and well, Kind Regards, Ian Paterson - Australia

Happ-E-Quote:) "If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney

HAPPINESS CLUB MEETING:) Our next Happiness Club meeting will have a presentation called, "HAPPINESS HELPERS!" Look forward to seeing you. Come on down, meet some great people, get connected, and be happy.

Meet:) "HAPPINESS HELPERS!"

2004 UPCOMING HAPPINESS CLUB MEETINGS DATES:)
Holiday Party on Thursday, December 16, 2004

Directions to Fairfield Sullivan Independence Town Hall
725 Old Post Road (corner of Beach Road)
I 95 Southbound Exit 22: Left onto North Benson Road, then cross Post Road/Route 1 and
continue one block to stop sign. Take a right onto Old Post Road and continue one block to stop sign. Town Hall is across the street on the left and Independence Hall is down the driveway from Town Hall.
I 95 Northbound Exit 22: Right onto Round Hill Road, then cross Post Road/Route 1 and
continue one block to stop sign. Town Hall is across the street on the right and Independence Hall is down the driveway from Town Hall.

Happ-E-Quote:) "It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not." - Denis Waitley

The next meeting of the Canada Happiness Club is scheduled for November 18, 2004. The GUEST SPEAKER BARRY SHAINBAUM is an internationally renowned photographer, speaker, author and musician, BARRY SHAINBAUM has survived bipolar disorder, jail, the judicial and psychiatric boarding house system, 18 years of medication and therapy before turning his life around. He is considered cured of an illness previously considered incurable, and is a true inspiration to us all. The time if from 700 - 8:30 PM. It will be held at a new location: The Normandy Resource Centre (The Legion), 111, Church Street, St. Catharines, Ontario. This facility is fully accessible. Admission is A smile and as always is free. Cheers! Jane

Happ-E-Quote:) "Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life become more secure, more fraught with action, richer in experience and achievement." - Edward Rickenbacker

BE HAPPY ZONE
By Lionel Ketchian
October 20, 2004

Bonjour de Paris!!!

Aymee Branch held Happiness Club meetings in her home in San Francisco, California. Aymee was enrolled as a full time graduate student when she started the club. She has since graduated and has received her Master's degree! She had interesting guest speaker's present great talks to the California Happiness Club. To quote one of her statements to me this May, Aymee said: "I am entering into the fifth month of Happiness Club meetings and it just seems to be getting better and better! We have come to a point where guest speakers are lining up for our monthly slots. It has been really inspiring and motivating being able to teach and promote happiness!" For her Ph.D. candidacy Aymee is working on her dissertation topic of linking "happiness with leadership effectiveness." Aymee's goal is "to prove that we need happy leaders and that they are more effective when they are happy!"

Well, we lost Aymee, our California Happiness Club leader. This recent letter from Aymee will explain the circumstances of her story.

"I met the man I am to marry! We are engaged and will marry as soon we get through the maze of the bureaucratic paperwork and policies. His name is Jean-Francois Coget. You guessed it he is French. When we met, he was to start teaching at the Harvard equivalent in France called HEC in September. So here we are in Paris! Upon meeting Jean-Francois my life has been nothing but a whirlwind! He just graduated from the Ph.D. program at UCLA with a degree in the same field as me, Management (Organizational Psychology for me). His area of emphasis is in leadership, happiness, emotions, intuitive decision making and meaning, (as in 'what is the meaning of life?') We are compatible beyond belief and he is amazing in every way! I am happier than ever before!

I am continuing my studies here in Paris and I have worked out the details of studying abroad with my professors. No time will be lost in my program, which is a good thing! We are living the 'mission' of Paris. Our apartment is rather large, has a lot of windows and a beautiful garden with tall trees around it. Apparently this is very rare for Parisian apartments. The catch here is that it has not been updated in quite some time so I have turned from happiness queen to queen of home renovation ripping off wall paper, cleaning, painting and we are installing hard wood floors. I definitely prefer my knowledge work in the happiness arena better than full time manual labor of home improvement. Fortunately we are almost done.

Other than reading and writing for my own studies, home renovation, experiencing Paris, taking on the role of a wife I am learning French. My classes started last week, I hope to obtain some freedom from learning the native language. It is quite crippling not knowing what goes on around me but I am learning to cope and hopefully my French tongue will develop sooner rather than later.

All in all we do really miss California. Jean-Francois is applying to teach next year at UC Berkeley and Stanford. Applications are due by December so please cross your fingers for us! In the meanwhile, I am thinking of starting a Happiness Club here in Paris, France. After the home renovation of course! Wishing you loads of happiness from abroad! - Aymee Branch, soon to be Aymee Coget.

The rest of the story is that while Aymee and Jean-Francois are finding, teaching and spread happiness abroad I have found a new friend in California by virtue of Aymee. While she was involved in the Happiness Club Aymee would have me talk to many of the speakers who were presenting topics to the California Happiness Club. For the July 18th meeting, Aymee introduced me to her guest speaker who was Bob Nozik, MD. Bob wrote the book Happy 4 Life: Here's How to Do It, which was just published this year! This book is a very important contribution to the knowledge of happiness. If you have not read it yet, I suggest you get a copy. With our first phone conversation I found Dr. Nozik an amazing individual. He has studied happiness for the last 18 years and he knows what he is talking about when it comes to happiness. We have become friends and we talk often about matters of happiness. He has agreed to facilitate the California Happiness Club.

I guess this story is about old friends and new friends and how happiness just spreads out across the world. It is amazing how much happiness has done. As you can see, happiness has done wonders for the people that spread happiness. When you spread happiness to others you can't help but get some of it on yourself.

Our next Happiness Club meeting will be on Thursday, November 18, from 7:00 - 9:00 P.M. There will be a presentation called, "HAPPINESS HELPERS!" The meeting will be held at the Sullivan Independence Hall, Fairfield, CT 06824. Admission is free; everyone is welcome. Look forward to seeing you. Come on down, meet some great people, get connected, and be happy.

Watch "The Happiness Show," every Monday night, at 9:30 - 10:00 PM. Your co-hosts are Lionel Ketchian and George Ortega. The TV show is broadcast in six towns on Cablevision of Connecticut channel 77. It airs in Bridgeport, Fairfield, Milford, Orange, Stratford and Woodbridge.

I have read some love letters that Aymee and Jean-Francois wrote to one another. They actually wanted me to know how happy they are. I want you to know the letters are full of love and happiness for one another. The fact is that each of these happiness students learned the importance of happiness individually and have brought their happiness together to share with the world. God Bless you both and may your happiness shine brightly and light up the world.

Do you want to see Dr. Bernie Siegel? The DVD Video: Conversations with Bernie, Health & Happiness. Dr. Bernie Siegel and Lionel Ketchian share in a delightful conversation together for over one hour. The interview took place in Dr. Siegel's home and was aired on Public TV. Three cameras were used to beautifully capture the mood and the moment professionally done by Van Gorder Studios. It will feel like you are there with us, as we journey together. Join us and share the moment now! You can order a copy by sending a check (payable in US funds) for $19.95 plus $2.00 shipping in the US, for as many DVD's as you want. Send check to LRK Communications, Inc. 63 Unquowa Road, Fairfield, CT 06824.

The DVD Video: Conversations with Bernie, Health & Happiness is available at one store: The Wisdom of the Ages, located at 1408 Hopmeadow Street, Simsbury, CT 06070. Phone #. 860-651-1172.

Please feel free to forward this to anyone you desire. Please include the copyrights and credits due the authors.

Our mailing list and your name is never sold, traded, or given to anyone outside of our organization. You can smile about that!

REMOVAL INSTRUCTIONS: To be removed from this Happ-E-Newsletter reply with "Remove" in the subject line.

"Don't let go of the vine." - John Weissmuller, from the film, Tarzan.
Life is full of opportunities. Go For It! Carpe diem!

© Copyright 2004, Lionel R. Ketchian, all rights reserved.