Happ-E-Newsletter for February 1, 2007

Welcome My Dear Friend!

I would like to give you 4 great quotes to live your life fully!

"Getters generally don't get happiness; givers get it. You simply give to others a bit of yourself--a thoughtful act, a helpful idea, a word of appreciation, a lift over a rough spot, a sense of understanding, a timely suggestion. You take something out of your mind, garnished in kindness out of your heart, and put it into the other fellow's mind and heart." - Charles H. Burr

"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years." - Baruch Spinoza (1632 - 1677)

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant." - Robert Louis Stevenson

William Jennings Bryan said, "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

HAPPINESS and YOU!

Happiness is a decision. Happiness is also a choice. Okay, then which one is it? Well, it's both a decision and a choice, because in order to have lasting happiness first you must make the decision. In order to keep happiness, you must make the choice. Good decisions allow you to be aware of excellent choices that other people will not be mindful of or take notice.

Let's take a look at the difference between decisions and choices. The dictionary defines the word decision as "a determination arrived at after consideration." It also says, "a conclusion has been arrived at." The word choice is defined in the dictionary as "an option, an alternative, a preference, a selection, or an election."

"To get to happiness, or anywhere else, you've got to decide what you really want, and then put your energy where it will do the most good." This is a quote from the book, What Happy People Know, by Dan Baker, Ph.D. This is so true, because that is what I did when I came to the realization that happiness was what I really wanted.

Let me ask you to make a choice right now. Do you choose vanilla or chocolate? Which one did you choose? Why, and what were you choosing? I didn't tell you vanilla or chocolate anything! Were you thinking ice cream? Even if you are choosing between vanilla or chocolate ice cream, first you have to decide that you want ice cream and then you make a choice about flavor you want. The main thing is you walked into the store because of your decision to have ice cream. Having ice cream was your decision, and what flavor to have was your choice as a result of making that decision.

Author Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., in his book Emotional Intelligence said, "Even mild mood changes can sway thinking. In making plans or decisions people in good moods have a perceptual bias that leads them to be more expansive and positive in their thinking. By the same token, being in a foul mood biases memory in a negative direction, making us more likely to contract into a fearful, overly cautious decision. Emotions out of control impede the intellect."

Wanting to be happy led me to the understanding that "to be happy," is actually needing, and wanting to be happy at some future time. That's when I figured out that it is all about "being happy,'" because being happy is something you can do right now, not later. Being happy has allowed me to be free. It has shown me what freedom looks and feels like, and I have developed a taste for it.

Victor Frankl, author of the book, Man's Search for Meaning and survivor of Nazi concentration camp, said: "Everything can be taken from a man but ... the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Being happy is a freeing experience, much like being released from prison. Part of that freeing experience comes from not wanting or needing everything to go my way all the time. This freedom has allowed me to experience peace. For what is peace but freedom from desire. Don't get me wrong, I still want things, but I don't get upset when I don't get them or when things don't go my way. Instead, I have learned to prefer things rather than demand that I get them. I am much better off, because it makes me proactive in achieving what I want. Robert Louis Stevenson said, "The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions."

It is self evident that when we are unhappy we have given our power away to others and that is why we feel unhappy. We actually feel powerless. We must choose happiness to regain our power. One of Dr. Baker's tools is choice. He says, "Choice is the father of freedom and voice of the heart. Having no choices, or options, feels like being in jail. It leads to depression, anxiety and the condition called learned helplessness. Choice can even govern perception. Anyone can choose the course of their lives, but only happy people do it."

"Courage begins with the decision to face the ultimate truth about existence: the dirty little secret that we are free. It requires an understanding of free will at the archetypal level -- an understanding that we are free to define who we are at every moment. We are not what society and randomness has made us; we are what we have chosen to be from the depth of our being. We are a product of our will. We are self-made in the deepest sense." This statement was made by Peter Koestenbaum in his work to bring leadership philosophy to business people globally.

Most importantly, I have learned that happiness comes from inside. It is not something I can find or hope to find. The true opposite to happiness is not unhappiness, but fear. Unhappiness is just the effect caused by fear. Being happy dispels fear. It is in your choice, so it is in your power. In order to become a happy person you must make the decision to become happy. Than you must keep making the choice in order to reinforce that decision.

William George Jordan said, "Happiness can grow in any soil, live in any condition. It defies environment. It comes from within; it's the revelation of the depths of the inner life as light and heat proclaim the sun from which they radiate. Happiness consists not of having, but of being; not of possessing, but of enjoying. It is the warm glow of a heart at peace with it's self... Happiness is the soul's joy in the possession of the intangible... Happiness is paradoxical because it may coexist with trial, sorrow and poverty. It is the gladness of the heart, rising superior to all conditions..."

BE HAPPY ZONE by Lionel Ketchian. Published in the Fairfield Citizen-News on January 24, 2007

Life is complicated, happiness is simple! LIVE RICHLY...PRACTICE HAPPINESS!

Everything we do in life is for the purpose of obtaining happiness! Happiness Empowerment to You! Reminding you to make the "Happiness Decision." Think Smart, Look Smart, Be Smart...Be Happy! Sharing Love, Peace and Happiness with you, Lionel Ketchian

Happ-E-News :) On January 16, 2007 I read an eye opening article called: Pursue Happiness In Schools by Dr. Mark K. Setton an associate professor of world religions at the University of Bridgeport. I was overjoyed by the article and have reached out to Professor Setton and we have meet and become friends. His thinking is excellent and well needed. It is wonderful that educators are understanding happiness and spreading it.

If our children have the right to pursue happiness, shouldn't they be educated about how to do it? Millions of parents are taking drugs to escape from misery; why aren't we teaching their offspring about the habits and virtues conducive to peace of mind?

Studies of human well-being can promote a genuinely global education. It is worth bearing in mind that the psychology of happiness is not a monopoly of Western academia. It began in China, India and Greece nearly 2,500 years ago with Confucius, Buddha and Aristotle.

Happ-E-Mail :) Your Jan 12 column on effects of happiness at work is a gem. Congratulations. I would frame it as a "positive work environment" which causes those attributes, and your putting it under the "happiness umbrella," is a smart way to go. You really pulled together a wonderful list of payoff areas and in your usual succinct writing style. Nice work. Cal Sutliff

Happ-E-Quote :) "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." Virginia Satir (1916-1988) Therapist

Happ-E-Quote :) "The most radical, powerful act ever undertaken by any human being remains the act of committing oneself, beyond reservation, to a worthy personal mission." - Christopher Childs

Happ-E-Mail :) So glad I was able to join the group for the last Happiness Club meeting. I found my notes on "Power Talking: 50 Ways to Say What You Mean and Get What You Want." The author is George Walther. Here are some of the power talking replacements for common expressions: "I'll have to" becomes "I'll be glad to," "I'll try to do it" becomes "I will do it," "I failed" becomes "I learned," "If only I had" becomes "Starting now I will" and "That's a problem" becomes "What a challenging opportunity." The words I choose to talk to myself about life's situations can be either draining or empowering. It is my choice, just like my decision to be HAPPY. So I choose my words carefully. See you soon. Take care, God bless, and stay happy! Michelle McGuire

Happ-E-Quote :) "In one hand I have a dream, and in the other I have an obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention?" - Henry Parks

Happ-E-Mail :) The Teen Happy Club had another fabulous meeting last Saturday and we all love our new accommodations! We thought we should let you know how successful this Sunday's Happy Club community service event was! Fifteen Happy Club members attended the Food Bank activity today and all had lots of fun unpacking and stacking donated food on shelves. There was music blaring and laughter throughout the food bank warehouse but, at the same time, lots of serious work was being done. The coordinator of the Food Bank was present and extremely impressed by the Club’s teamwork and the overall chemistry of the group. The event ended with pizzas and dessert being devoured as all the attendees talked and bonded around the Food Bank’s oval table. It was truly satisfying to see that no one wanted to leave! It was a wonderful and "happy" Sunday afternoon. We look forward to Dr. Cynthia once again working her teen magic at the next meeting. Best, Cathy & Rosalie.

Happ-E-Quote :) "If you're looking at things with the right set of eyes, people are endlessly fascinating. And then, of course, if you look at it the wrong way, then the whole world is horrible and tedious and boring. That's the battle, really--to keep looking at the world in the right way." John Cusack, Actor

Happ-E-Mail :) I really enjoy your Happ-E-Newsletter. Martin Seligman in "The Optimistic Child", quotes Aristotle, and I paraphrase, that happiness is not an empty emotion that can be separated from what we do; the right action causes happiness. If we want to be happy, therefore, it behooves us all to do for others as much as we can. - Dr. Jerry Guindon

Happ-E-Quote :) "When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that in itself is a choice." - William James

Happ-E-Quote :) "We design our lives through the power of choices." - Richard Bach

Happ-E-Quote :) "A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: everyone you meet is your mirror." - Ken Keyes, Jr.

Happ-E-Mail :) A quick update...I have been approached to run the happiness course we discussed some time ago at one of the colleges (Mount Royal College, Canada) in May. They are also interested in expanding the course at a later stage to incorporate in a larger "teach the teachers" program which is pretty cool. This is an exciting time – I have my proposed tele-workshops coming up, for which I have high hopes too... and also a number of new website's to develop. Just wanted to let you know...Warm wishes, David

Happ-E-Mail :) Another excellent resource book, SECRETS ABOUT LIFE EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW by Barbara DeAngelis Ph. D.

Happ-E-Quote :) "Your future depends on many things, but mostly on you." - Frank Tyger

Happ-E-Quote :) "We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people." - Arthur Schopenhauer

Happ-E-Quote :) "But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances." - Vic Johnson

Our next Happiness Club meeting includes a presentation called: The Heart of Happiness, by Lionel Ketchian. Learn to have peace of mind, love and happiness all year.

Date :) Thursday, February 15th, 2007

Time :) 7:00 - 9:00 P.M.
Place :) At the Fairfield Public Library, in the Memorial Room

Address :) 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield, CT 06824

WESTPORT, CONNECTICUT SMILING SINGLE SENIORS HAPPINESS CLUB :)

Our next Happiness Club meeting will be: "Exercise for Happiness," by Dana Tele Nichols. Dana is the Therapeutic Recreational Director for the Fairfield Senior Center for the past 9 years. She teaches Flex & Stretch Aerobics which is wonderful for people with arthritis.

Date :) Thursday, February 22, 2007

Time :) 6:30 - 8:00 P.M. - Please take note of time change!!!

Place :) At the Westport Senior Center, 21 Imperial Ave., Westport CT 06880.

Stay happy and healthy - get well connected. Stacy Enyeart is the group facilitator. For further information, www.happinessclub.com or call Lionel Ketchian at 203 258-7777. Future meetings will be held on Thursday, Thursday, March 29, 2007.

NEW! - MADISON CONNECTICUT HAPPINESS CLUB :)

Our next Happiness Club meeting will include a presentation called: "The 10 B's of Positivity," by Lynette Turner. Lynette believes that taking charge of your life will take you on a journey of discovery and enlightenment that will change your life for the better. It will give you the courage and skills to forever move your life forward in a direction of peace, harmony and happiness.

Date :) Wednesday, February 28, 2006

Time :) 7:00 - 9:00 P.M.
Place :) At the E.C. Scranton Memorial Library

Address :) 801 Boston Post Road, Madison, Ct. 06443

NEW! - STAMFORD,CONNECTICUT TEEN HAPPY CLUB :)

Open to all high school students.

Date :) Saturday, February 3, 2006

Time :) 2:30 - 4:00 P.M.
Place :) At the Daniel and Grace Tully & Family Health Center

Address :) 32 Strawberry Hill Court, Stamford, Connecticut 06902

NEW! - WILMINGTON, NORTH CAROLINA HAPPINESS CLUB :)

We had 11 people at our first meeting was on Friday, January 26, 2007, 7:00 PM 2007. We met at The Connection Internet Cafe at 250-1 Racine Drive Racine Commons Shopping Center, Wilmington, NC 28403.

Get in touch with me through the 'Contact Organizer' feature on the Meetup.com website:

Happiness is an inner state of well being. A state that enables you to profit from your highest thoughts, intelligence, wisdom, awareness, common sense, emotions, health, and spiritual values.

Happiness is one of the most important things in your life. Don't give away your power by being unhappy! Practice "Premeditated Happiness," because happiness is an issue of power. We give our power to others for many reasons. We mistakenly think that doing this will make us happy. The truth is that we have given others power over ourselves. We can now consciously reclaim our power and experience happiness. Happiness does wonders for your soul. Now is the time to learn to use happiness for dealing with challenges and difficult people so you can empower your life. Reading this newsletter will not just make your life better; it will make the world a better place...because you have decided to be happy!

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"Unhappiness is a form of suffering." Eckhart Tolle. If you're not happy by now, it's time to have a talk with yourself. Make the Happiness Decision Now! THAT'S ALL FOLKS...NOW BE HAPPY!

© Copyright 2007, Lionel R. Ketchian, all rights reserved.