Happ-E-Newsletter for September 15, 2007

Welcome My Dear Friend!

There will be a film crew from Russia at our next Happiness Club meeting this Thursday, September 20th. They want to include our Happiness Club in their movie. Hope you can make the meeting.

Happiness and Judgements!

Lately, one of the things that I have been doing is giving up judgements of others. I realize that judgements are really just another form of critical self-talk. By limiting my mind to engage in any kind of judgement or criticism of the actions of others, I am freeing myself from the need to react to most things that people do.

My decision to give up judging is not for the purpose of making others feel good, or even to be a good person myself; it is for my own benefit. Being less judgmental of others has led me to feel freer then I have ever been before. I seem to be releasing myself from my own judgments, which were really more about me than they were about others.

"Happiness depends more on judgment of one’s own self." These are the words of Benjamin Franklin, who apparently understood the meaning of happiness and its dependence on the judgement of ourselves. By not judging others, I am not judging myself, or at least not judging myself as much as I used to. It is now becoming a habit for me. It is a habit that has given me an unbelievable sense of freedom.

Freedom would be enough of a reward for not judging others. I have felt another rewarding benefit from letting go of judging others, but I have felt that I have a feeling of loving people even more. Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., a prolific writer and teacher has said: "By not judging, we release the past and let go of our fears of the future. In so doing, we come to see that everyone is our teacher and that every circumstance is an opportunity for growth in happiness, peace and love."

When you are looking at what you don't like about people, it is hard to feel good or be happy. The more I gave up criticizing or judging others, the more I got the feeling of love for others. I think that is why Mother Teresa so brilliantly said: "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." I know what she meant by these words, because they have become true for me.

Peter McWilliams, the author of You Can't Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought has said: "Positive thoughts (joy, happiness, fulfillment, achievement, worthiness) have positive results (enthusiasm, calm, well-being, ease, energy, love). Negative thoughts (judgement, unworthiness, mistrust, resentment, fear) produce negative results (tension, anxiety, alienation, anger, fatigue).

As many of you know, I have said that one of the best books on happiness I have ever read (I have read a great many books) is Rabbi Zeilg Pliskin's book: Gateway to Happiness. I would like to announce a new book by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin called Conversations with Yourself: a practical guide for greater happiness, self-development and self-empowerment. Conversations with Yourself deals with what we tell ourselves and how to have better conversations with ourselves. This is Rabbi Pliskin's 23rd book; it was just been released in August and is available at ArtScroll Mesorah Publications, Brooklyn NY. I recommend this book for everyone. You will have better conversations with yourself after reading this wonderful and comprehensive book. You will find valuable and workable ideas from the first chapter, because we live in a world of our own thoughts.

If you really want to change your life experience with regards to how others treat you, try changing the way you mentally think about judging other people. If you must say something about their behavior, that is fine. Say whatever you think they should know, related to important issues, but to keep thinking about things they may do that bother you and are not really important, is more about punishing yourself with thoughts that will sooner or later drive you nuts.

The biggest benefit I have derived from developing a more non-judgmental attitude is the amazingly wonderful way people have been responding to me. As I have been eliminating those criticizing and judging thoughts from my mind, it is as if people sense that I am not criticizing and judging them anymore, so they respond in a much more positive way than I would have normally expected. The more power and control you have over your own mind, the better your life will be! What did you just think? Was that an empowering thought for you?

Our next meeting is a presentation by Alan Gettis, Ph.D. called: The Happiness Solution, Dr. Gettis is the author of The Happiness Solution and two other books. He is a clinical psychologist with graduate degrees from Central Michigan University, Utah State University, and Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons.

The meeting is on Thursday, September 20, from 7:00 - 9:00 P.M. at the Fairfield Public Library, in the Rotary Room at 1080 Old Post Road, Fairfield. Don't miss this valuable talk. Admission is free; everyone is welcome. Meet some great people using happiness in their lives. Come on down, get connected, and step out with joy in your life! Looking forward to seeing you.

BE HAPPY ZONE by Lionel Ketchian. Published in the Fairfield Citizen-News on September 5, 2007

Life is complicated, happiness is simple! LIVE RICHLY...PRACTICE HAPPINESS!
Everything we do in life is for the purpose of obtaining happiness! Happiness Empowerment to You! Reminding you to make the "Happiness Decision." Think Smart, Look Smart, Be Smart...Be Happy! Sharing Love, Peace and Happiness with you, Lionel Ketchian

Happ-E-Quote :) "Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - John Eldredge

Happ-E-Mail :) Regarding the last article you wrote called: Happiness Completes You! The word complete is the key. In the bible, the Hebrew word TOV is translated as good, which has little meaning but everything God created except man is followed by: and God saw it was good. A rabbi said the word TOV is better translated as complete and man needs to become complete. Sometimes things that do not make you happy help you to become more complete and in the long run are blessings created from a curse and do help you to live a more complete and happier life. I was also thinking; animals don't need happiness clubs, they are complete. If they aren't happy, they let you know it, while we go around denying our needs and saying fine to every question asking how we are feeling. Dr. Bernie Siegel

Happ-E-Quote :) "My own experience has taught me this: If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved." - Maurice Chevalier (1888-1972) Entertainer

Happ-E-Mail :) It was great speaking with you, I always feel so uplifted after one of our wide ranging discussions. The September 1st Newsletter was great! I love your comments on judgment which I find is one of the most difficult blocks for people to free themselves of. Non judgment is the way to go but people cling to judging like an abalone to a rock.

Also, I'm almost finished reading a truly remarkable book: Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill, by Matthieu Ricard. I suspect you've read it because you are such a voracious reader, especially of anything to do with happiness. I've read quite a few books as well, however, it is rare after all this time for me to read anything that 'rocks my world;' this is one book that does! Ricard is a Frenchman who is also a Buddhist Monk. For years he has served as the French translator for the Dalai Lama. He is also an expert meditator. In fact, he has been called 'the happiest man on earth' because he has the highest total ever recorded for MRI of the left prefrontal area of the brain (the happiness focus in the brain recorded at the University of Wisconsin in Madison at Richard Davidson's Imaging Center). Ricard, as you would imagine, speaks from a Buddhist perspective, but with a Western 'voice' so it doesn't sound foreign or remote. I can hardly believe how much I have learned from this book and recommend it for any serious student of happiness. Well, keep up the great work, my happiness brother, and enjoy it all. Dr. Bob Nozik

Happ-E-Quote :) "To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life." - Baruch Spinoza

Happy-Heaven Letters :) I love receiving my Heaven Letters each day from Gloria Wendroff. Here is one that deals with happiness that I would like to share with you. This is not the complete letter, just a taste for you to read .

HEAVEN #2472 How to Be Happy, September 1, 2007
God said:

When you get your wishes fulfilled, be happy. When you don't get your wishes fulfilled, be happy.

Be happy regardless. Be happy no matter what. This is a choice that is yours to make. Make the choice you like. Let's order happiness. Or, at least, do not order unhappiness.

Heretofore, you have told yourself that certain aspects of relative life will make you happy, and certain other events won't. It is irresponsible to leave the state of your happiness to outward events. Outward events are not to set the tone for your life. Surely you are not someone whose life is to echo another's tune. You are not a rower on a galley ship who must follow the beat of the gong.

There is a recipe for happiness. Thoughts lead to feelings. That's the recipe.

You give great input to the story of your life.

If someone leads a happy life, he did it. If someone leads an unhappy life, he did it. Somewhere along the line, he took a certain road. He chose either the road called, "Why not be happy?" or he chose the road called, "You have good cause to be unhappy."

You have every right to be happy, and no right to be unhappy. Too often, you have thought it was the reverse, that you had every reason to be unhappy. Never mind about reasons. Don't justify your unhappiness. If you must justify something, justify being happy.

Unhappiness is a lot like selfishness. Too much attention on yourself and what you need and how you feel about it. When you feel unhappy, have your cry and go on with your life. You have paid enough attention to dirges and ego. So what, your ego has had its feathers ruffled. So what, your ego feels discounted. Enough of ego. Now you, beloved, now you lead the way.

Happ-E-Quote :) "Unfortunately, many people do not consider fun an important item on their daily agenda. For me, that was always a high priority in whatever I was doing." - Chuck Yeager, Aviator

Happ-E-Mail :) Here’s a happy quote for you from my sister Katherina C: "Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections!"

Happ-E-Quote :) "It is preferable to change the world on the basis of love of mankind. But if that quality be too rare, then common sense seems the next best thing." - Bessie Head

Happ-E-News :) Recent happiness articles and items of interest!

CLUB HAPPINESS, E-CLUB :) Everybody should join this club, try it, you'll love it!!!

Time: Monday, September 24th from 7:00 - 8:00 PM, EST in the USA.
Phone number: (712) 775-7000
Your Access Code is: 122856#.
The Virtual Happiness Club is free, just your normal long distance charges apply. The first 90 callers may participate. The Virtual Happiness Club meets one Monday each month.

FAIRFIELD CONNECTICUT HAPPINESS CLUB :)

Date :) Thursday, September 27, 2007
Time :) 6:30 - 8:00 P.M.
Place :) The Westport Senior Center, 21 Imperial Ave. Westport CT 06880.

Admission is free and the meetings are for people single and over 50 years old. Meet some wonderful people using happiness in their lives. Stay happy and healthy - get well connected. Stacy Enyeart is the group facilitator. Future meetings Thursday, September 27, Thursday, October 25, 2007

NEW!!! NORWALK, CONNECTICUT SENIORS HAPPINESS CLUB :)
Kelsang Shenden, Ph.D. is a Buddhist Kadampa Nun. Kelsang will teach from the book: Eight Steps To Happiness, a series based on showing how we can transform our mind of dissatisfaction and suffering into the perfect Wisdom - Compassion and Happiness of a Buddha. This course is designed for everyone including beginners with emphasis on the cessation of painful limitation and the development with freedom and confidence of a vital relationship within ourselves and with others.
Date :) Thursday, September 20, 2007
Time :) 10:30 AM - 12:00 P.M.
Place :) The Norwalk Senior Center
Address :) 11 Allen Road, Norwalk, CT 06851.
Kelsang Shenden, Ph.D., a Buddhist Nun is the group facilitator. Admission is free, to make your reservation please call Debbie Cole at 203 847-3115 Ext: 104. Meetings are held every Thursday each week from 10:30 AM - 12:00 P.M.

MADISON CONNECTICUT HAPPINESS CLUB :)
Our next Happiness Club meeting will be a presentation called: "Simple Steps to Health & Happiness," by Dr. Veronica Waks. Dr. Waks believes that most illnesses are the body's reaction to a stressful, toxic environment and unwise lifestyle choices.

STAMFORD CONNECTICUT TEEN HAPPY CLUB :)

Open to all high school students. Meetings are held twice a month on Saturdays from 11:00 - 12:30 P.M. At the Daniel and Grace Tully & Family Health Center, 32 Strawberry Hill Court, Stamford, Connecticut 06902.

Event Description: Positive Emotions - why use them? how can we most effectively use them?! Also a brief review of Positive Thinking. You're guaranteed to interact with at least five new people each time!" Hosted in association with the Creativity and Personal Mastery program at Columbia Business School, as taught by Professor Rao. No dues, no registration and open to everyone!

Date :) Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Time :) 7:00 - 9:00 P.M.
Place :) At Columbia Business School - Warren Hall Room 416 (4th floor) corner of Amsterdam and 115 th street, Columbia University campus New York, NY 10027

MENTORS HAPPINESS CLUB :) Meeting: We will be meeting on our conference phone line that will be open to all Happiness Club facilitators everywhere. More information to come.

Virtual Happiness Club - For more information:

New - Happiness Club WWW Chapter - For more information:

Mentors Happiness Club - No meetings scheduled at this time.

Happ-E-Quote :) "Never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Happiness is an inner state of well being. A state that enables you to profit from your highest thoughts, intelligence, wisdom, awareness, common sense, emotions, health, and spiritual values.
Happiness is one of the most important things in your life. Don't give away your power by being unhappy! Practice "Premeditated Happiness," because happiness is an issue of power. We give our power to others for many reasons. We mistakenly think that doing this will make us happy. The truth is that we have given others power over ourselves. We can now consciously reclaim our power and experience happiness. Happiness does wonders for your soul. Now is the time to learn to use happiness for dealing with challenges and difficult people so you can empower your life. Reading this newsletter will not just make your life better; it will make the world a better place...because you have decided to be happy!

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"May the good lord be with you, Down every road you roam, And may sunshine and happiness, Surround you when you're far from home." - Words from the song Forever Young by Rod Stewart

"Unhappiness is a form of suffering." Eckhart Tolle. "Do or do not. There is no try." Yoda

If you're not happy by now, it's time to have a talk with yourself.

Make the Happiness Decision Now! THAT'S ALL FOLKS...NOW BE HAPPY!

© Copyright 2007, Lionel R. Ketchian, all rights reserved.